How To Write Up A Job Description

The Fine Art of Boring People to Death (On Purpose)

Writing a job description sounds about as fun as watching paint dry, right? Wrong. It’s actually your chance to play mind reader for a total stranger. You get to guess what makes someone tick before they even walk through your door.

Think of it as a dating profile, but for your company. You wouldn’t say, “I have a face and sometimes I eat.” You’d say, “I love hiking and terrible puns.” Same rules apply here.

Start With the Weird Stuff (The "Day in the Life")

Nobody cares about your mission statement. They care about whether they’ll be yelled at on Tuesdays. So, skip the corporate fluff and write down what a real Tuesday looks like.

Does the job involve untangling cables for two hours? Does it mean convincing Karen from accounting that her spreadsheet isn’t lost, just hiding? Put that in there. It’s honest, and honest is hilarious.

“You’ll spend 30% of your time in meetings that could have been an email, and 10% explaining to the CEO why your app crashed. We provide snacks. We do not provide therapy.”

That little blockquote above? That’s gold. That’s the kind of thing that makes a candidate snort-laugh and hit “apply” before they overthink it.

Requirements: The "Superhero" Trap

Here’s the secret: You are not looking for a unicorn. You’re looking for a decent human who can learn. Stop demanding ten years of experience in a software that’s only existed for two.

Instead, write “A willingness to Google things you don’t know” and “The ability to laugh when the printer jams.” You’ll get ten times more applicants, and half of them will actually be good. The other half will be your future office legends.

And please, for the love of all that is holy, avoid the phrase “rock star.” Rock stars don’t do performance reviews. They smash guitars. You don’t want that energy.

The Salary Question (The Elephant in the Room)

Just put the number in. Seriously. It feels scary, like showing your bank account on a first date. But guess what? Everyone knows you’re going to pay them something.

Hiding the salary is like ordering a mystery meat sandwich. It’s exciting for about three seconds, and then it’s just regret. A clear number says, “We respect your time and your bills.” That’s the most heartwarming thing you can write all day.

If you can’t put a number, put a range. $50k–$55k is honest. $45k–$90k is a lie that smells like stale coffee.

You’ll also save yourself from the awkward dance where the candidate asks for $80k and you offer $48k. That’s not a negotiation. That’s a breakup waiting to happen.

Your Secret Weapon: The "Who You’ll Work With" Section

Here’s the fun part. Describe your team like they’re characters in a sitcom. “You’ll sit next to Priya, who brings in homemade mango cake on Fridays and will teach you to curse in Tamil.”

Or, “You’ll share a Slack channel with Dave, who sends memes of cats with motivational quotes. He also does the dishes in the office kitchen without being asked. We think he’s a robot.”

That paints a picture. It makes your company feel like a place where real people breathe. And it’s surprisingly powerful because everyone wants to belong to a group of weirdos, not a faceless corporation.

Edit Like You’re Texting Your Best Friend

Now, read your draft out loud. If you sound like a robot lawyer, rewrite it. Use short sentences. Use “you” a lot. Say “we like snacks” instead of “We provide a synergistic buffet experience.”

And then, at the very bottom, add a P.S. Something like: “P.S. If you’ve read this far, you’re exactly who we want. Please mention your favorite dinosaur in the cover letter. No, seriously, we have a bet going.”

That tiny, silly line does two things. It filters out people who don’t read directions, and it makes the ones who do smile. A smile is the first step to a great hire.

So go ahead. Write the boring, wonderful, honest job description. You might even have a little fun doing it. And that’s the best part—you’re not just listing duties. You’re writing the first chapter of someone’s next adventure. That’s pretty cool, actually.